“Today I escaped from the crush of circumstances, or better put, I threw them out, for the crush wasn’t from outside me but in my own assumptions.” – Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.13
If I had a dime for every conversation I have ever had with my wife that contained “I can’t make you…” my savings account would be more comfortable. It’s an easier said than done position to hold when you are the person invoking a Stoic disposition. But that doesn’t make it any less true. Whether I was being difficult, or simply holding a position that wasn’t being met with agreement, my ability to maintain my ground in the realm of controlling how I approached the discussion, as opposed to letting the frustration of communication overwhelm me, brought peace and clarity.
No need to address the many times I’ve had to apologize for losing my temper.
What assumptions do we have about our jobs, relationships, or any future plans that we’ve made? Are we embracing deviation as nothing more than nature following its own logic? The meditation leverages the word hypolêpsis, which is a Greek word for how our mind judges situations. In his blog Stoicism and the Art of Happiness, Donald Robertson talks about hypolêpsis by leveraging Pierre Hadot’s book on Marcus Aurelius called The Inner Citadel. Hadot wrote about three Stoic Disciplines: desire, action, and assent. Judgment can be found under assent and Robertson has this to say: (source)
According to Hadot’s analysis, although the Stoics refer to “judgement” in general (hypolêpsis), they’re primarily interested in monitoring and evaluating their own implicit value-judgements. These form the basis of our actions, desires, and emotions, especially the irrational passions and vices which the Stoics sought to overcome. By continually monitoring their judgements, Stoics are to notice the early-warning signs of upsetting or unhealthy impressions and take a step back from them, withholding their “assent” or agreement, rather than being “carried away” into irrational and unhealthy passions and the vices. The Stoics call this prosochê or “attention” to the ruling faculty of the mind, to our judgements and actions. I’ve described this as “Stoic Mindfulness”, a term that can be taken to translate prosochê.
None of us are sages, well maybe a few of you are, but the beauty of how Epictetus approached Stoic thought was that one wasn’t required to be a sage to have the capacity to be Stoic. These meditations are our reminder that for us to get angry requires our consent to put our thoughts secondary to the thing itself. If we are aware of the fact that we’re getting upset then we can make strides to change how we’ll react to the circumstance. Neither Aurelius nor Epictetus, for that matter, require perfection. The very fact that they speak to the problem of vices and passions indicates it’s something we all contend with. Don’t get frustrated if you find yourself losing your mindful footing, remember you can always get it back.