Jaguars Wind Sprints: We Need a Rating System

Please don’t bring the Jaguars to London!!


At the start of the 4th quarter Rich Gannon and Marv Albert surveyed the Jacksonville sky, noting the ominous clouds enveloping the city. It was my clue to get outside and finish the yard. Yes it was such a horrible game that the lawn garnered my interest midway through the 1st quarter.

I did not stutter.

My fatal flaw was getting suckered by the game during a bathroom break. Sitting down with my son, watching a few minutes of the 3rd quarter was enough to push me to find my happy place. At least my wife and daughter had left because I surely did not want them subjected to this production. They are good, much better than I, and the Jaguars/Bengals game might have ripped at the fabric of their souls. My son, a freshman at UNF, is at a point in his life where I must trust him to make his own decisions.

He started watching a recorded episode of The Simpsons before the clock went to zeros.

With 12 games left maybe Shad and the boys could help out the fan base by putting a rating system on the remaining games. That way we can determine who we should take to which games or invite to our Jaguars game day parties. Let’s face it, what happened yesterday was down right pornographic. Now I get that porn is the business of pleasure but not everyone enjoys it and surely the only folks getting a thrill from Andy Dalton and the Cincinnati defense were their fans or those who take pleasure in the demise of the Big Cats.

While no authority of rating anything from an entertainment standpoint here are my suggestions:


Thu, Nov 8 vs Indianapolis

This might be a stretch but if any game is suited for children it will be this one, if only because MJD will be able to run all day long. Kids love MJD. If we’re being honest, he is somewhat like a Disney character.


Sun, Dec 16 @ Miami

Miami doesn’t have much hope either. Take the family and/or friends down south for an early Christmas road trip. This is one of those games where you say, “and I thought we were bad”. No promises that the Dolphin fans will be “PG”.


Sun, Nov 25 vs Tennessee

Sun, Dec 30 @ Tennessee

Sun, Dec 2 @ Buffalo

Don’t watch the Titans games with me because you may want to change the grade to an “R”. Maybe, just maybe, by the time Thanksgiving rolls around these three will give us something to be thankful for.


Sun, Oct 7 vs Chicago

Sun, Oct 28 @ Green Bay

Sun, Nov 4 vs Detroit

Sun, Dec 23 vs New England

Rated for violence. Packers, Lions and Patriots will carpet bomb this defense. Oh the casualties. What is the over/under on Chicago defensive and special teams touchdowns?


Sun, Oct 21 @ Oakland

First off, it is a West Coast trip. That in and of itself means offensive. Play it in the Black Hole and you have an adult only experience.


Sun, Dec 9 vs New York Jets

Sun, Nov 18 @ Houston

You may feel that Tim Tebow coming to town might mean a more holy experience. You’d be wrong. It doesn’t matter if Tim gets into the game or not, the warring sides of that debate will make EverBank look like a scene from “Caligula”. The Texans game will be nothing short of a snuff film.

You’re welcome.

My shoes are on and I need to run!

  • Kyle Bosworth should have been wearing clown shoes and a red rubber nose. All you have to do is hold onto the football and run. I am not perfect. I run into walls all the time. But at last check no one pays me to walk through halls unscathed.  The Jaguars could literally use a still shot of Kyle fumbling the ball with a new marketing slogan – “Jacksonville Jaguars: Nowhere to Go But Up”
  • Maybe the dark clouds moving over our beloved city was God’s metaphoric curtain making the statement, “You don’t need to watch this.”
  • I have a history of giving Jaguars quarterbacks rope. Well documented are my defenses of Byron Leftwich and David Garrard. A quarter of the way into the 2012 season and Blaine Gabbert’s “progress” is so miniscule that I am pretty sure a magnetic resonance force microscope is needed to measure it. He has twelve games to make an impact or my seat on the bus will be vacated.
  • Injuries or not, Laurent Robinson is not good for the money spent on him. What concerns me is that Justin Blackmon was drafted to be a quick hit guy and that a deep threat prototype #1 would increase his success rate. Please don’t tell me you traded up to pick a guy who needs help to be the best he can be? Yes Justin is quick with great hands but there is nothing so far which screams “play maker”.
  • Speaking of play makers, can you count how many Jacksonville has? That should tell you just how poorly Gene Smith has performed as a General Manager.
  • Do we have sufficient evidence to assert that Bryan Anger was a CYA pick for Smith? Anger at least flips the field. But, and I noted this already this year, he isn’t doing anything that screams “3rd round”. Bengals punter Kevin Huber averaged 47.7 while Anger’s was 49.2. Huber was a 5th round pick. Sigh.
  • Someone needs to tell Chris Collinsworth that when a WR wraps his arms around a defensive back’s helmet while going for the ball that it is an obvious offensive PI.
  • And ironic that MJD couldn’t get the defensive PI when Reggie Nelson played “guess who”.
  • Marco Coleman, on the 690 post-game show, had the audacity to say the Jaguars offense needs a healthy Robinson in order to really be effective. The propaganda machine in gear.
  • Great call on 1010xl this morning. Father – “What was your favorite part of the Jaguars game?” Son – “When they scored.” Father – “When was your next favorite?” Song – “When they kicked the extra point.”
  • The last time the Jaguars had a 1,000 yard receiver was in 2005. Since then the closest folks have gotten are Mike Sims-Walker 2009 (869 yards) and Mike Thomas 2010 (820 yards).
  • For the remainder of the season there will be no “a win is a win” perspective. That is a losers way to look at things. Either the team wins in a competitive fashion or I will consider it a loss.
  • You deserved better, Fred Taylor.
  • So is it worse to just be a bad team or to be a bad team with talent? Would you feel worse if you were a Saints or Jets fan?
  • Darryl Smith is not going to make the defense better. I need you to come to terms with that. A healthy Tyson Alualu is not going to make the defense better. A lighter “Pork Chop” is not going to make the defense better.
  • It’s the receivers! It’s the quarterback! It’s the offensive line! It’s the coaches! What if it’s all of them.
  • Did you think it would be possible to throw the ball 23 times and have a total of 186 yards passing. Need perspective? Ryan Tannehill threw 26 completions for 431 yards…against the Cardinals on the road!!!!
  • No more tough talk form anyone on this team, especially the offensive line. No more show boating by anyone on the defense after making a play. No one believes you anymore.

Hope. Cheer. Vent. Laugh. Reboot.

I thought about it and my dream was broken
I clutch at images like dying breath
And I don’t want to make a fuss about it
The only certain thing in [life is death]

The Police – Truth Hits Everybody

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